Happy THREE Decky!

Dear Decky,

I just don't know what to make of you turning three. On the one hand you seem like such a big boy already, part of me thinks you've been three for months now. On the other hand you're my little baby, and you always will be. Still, we've noticed a few definite changes as you head into threenager territory. Up until now you've been a very go with the flow baby. Happy to go where we go, do what we do, and entertain yourself if we're busy. Now, suddenly, you're your own little person, you've got your own agenda and needs, and you're not afraid to yank my arm off dragging me from one place to another if your needs aren't being met. NOW.

It was bound to happen, it's part of growing up, and I promise we'll take your opinion into consideration from now on, my sweet little Decks.

We've also noticed what I can only describe as growing pains. Possibly physical as you're definitely looking taller and leaner lately, but definitely emotional. A couple weeks ago I actually took you to Urgent Care because you were silently weeping throughout the day like you were in pain, and then you passed out face down on the floor and completely freaked me out. It was so unlike you. Of course, as soon as we got to Urgent Care you were running around like you owned the place, practically climbing over all the legitimately sick people in the waiting room and fighting off three nurses at a time as they tried to take your vitals, like the baby Hulk you are. Physically you were fine, but those weepy moments have come on several times a week and I wish so badly you could tell me exactly what's wrong. Since you can't tell me, my best guess is that it's a mixture of needing more attention than you've gotten lately, having more to say than you're able to express with your limited vocabulary, and being completely worn out from all the summer fun we've been having.

It's ok baby, we've all got days like that. I promise you can always come cry on my lap, no matter how old you are.

On the topic of vocabulary, we've recently had you assessed by a speech therapist and you're currently at a twelve to eighteen month level. You were happy to show off your beautifully intricate jibberish, that I will forever believe is an actual language that exists somewhere, but when it comes to learning our plain English words you just haven't shown much interest. Until she put you in the 12-18 month range. Then you were like, GAME ON, and you've suddenly been learning several new words and phrases a day. I can't tell you what a relief that's been, and I am so, SO excited to learn all the crazy, hilarious, insightful thoughts running through that beautiful mind of yours.

I promise you that although English may not be as fun to speak as your own language, you will find it far more useful.

I hope you've had as much fun turning three as we've had fun celebrating you. We were wracking our brains trying to come up with the perfect day for you, and we were having the hardest time because you love the simplest things. In the end simple is what we went for and it turned out being amazing. We made sure to splash in some water (at the river), we got you your very own mini ball pit, which you and your brother are obsessed with, we took you to the toy store where you picked out a Cars Dinoco semi truck, to go with the Cars Mack truck you got on your second birthday, and you immediately came home to play with the two of them together. You know what you like and you're loyal to those things, and I can appreciate that. We also had a barbecue with family (where you ate a pb&j) and we've got plans for some water balloons and a trip to Wacky Tacky to cap off your three day three year old celebration.

Though I hope I tell you this every day, I want to make especially sure you know today, on the day that you quite literally came crashing into our lives three years ago, that you complete our little family. You give the best kisses, the best snuggles, the best infectious giggles, the best spontaneous dance moves, and the best "are you insane?" looks. Your happy spots are burrowed under a blanket flipping through a board book, hiding in a self-made fort beneath the recliner, ransacking your brother's room, splashing in water, or sitting on my lap. You've brought infinitely more balloons, bubbles, and bouncy balls into our lives, and I'm not sure how we got along without those necessities all this time. We love you to infinity and beyond baby boy and we're so excited to see how three unfolds for you.

A Little Summer Update

We're three weeks into summer vacation and it's already feeling like a blur that's going by way too fast. I know I say this every season, but can summer last forever, pleeeease? We're loving our hot summer pool & river days, breezy hammock evenings, and weekend family hikes. We end each day sweaty and dirty and chlorinated and sleepy and happy. Summer is also our season of birthdays, and we're so excited to celebrate Declan in a few days.

A few updates on life lately:

Ez officially has one year of school under his belt. His graduation was chaotic and tiring, which basically sums up the entire school year, if I'm being one hundred percent honest. During the graduation ceremony Ez was running off the stage while Declan was simultaneously trying to run onstage and truthfully, after a particularly brutal week of tear-filled dropoffs, I was so, so ready for summer vacation.

But, with the distance of three weeks to buffer the frazzled nerves and exhaustion, I look back on those preschool graduation pictures and remember it for what it was, a really sweet celebration to cap off a growth-filled, pivotal year for our Ez. Even though he refused to wear his cap and gown ("I don't like it. It isn't comfortable.") and he wasn't about to sing any of the songs (although he knew all the words), he did run onstage and cross over the bridge all by himself when they called his name. Maybe my expectations were especially low by that point, but I was so, SO proud of him. And when it came time to sing the final goodbye song, he climbed right up the steps and sang his little heart out, waving happily the whole time. We are so proud of our preK graduate.

After battling the school district quite a bit these past few weeks, doing lots of research, drawing up lengthy pros and cons lists, and having some in-depth heart to heart talks, Joe and I have decided to follow our gut and keep Ez in preK another year. We know he will benefit so much from an added year of maturity and his foundation will be that much stronger when he does start kindergarten.

Ez began his ABA therapy sessions this week, and despite the teary dropoffs (which we expected), he seems to enjoy his time there. This new morning routine has been quite the adjustment for us, but I think we're all adapting well and it's nice to have a bit of structure in our summer days.

We've also begun the process of getting Decky assessed for autism. This second time around has been easier in some ways, mainly because we know what to expect, but answering all those forms a second time around is emotionally draining, to say the least. We're so fortunate to have discovered Alta Regional this time around, and they've really streamlined the process for us and helped out so much. I'm also incredibly lucky to have found a support network of moms through Ez's school who have already navigated these confusing pathways and have offered so much guidance and support. Between assessments, doctors, the school district, ABA, and too many acronyms to keep track of, I don't know how anyone can get through an autism diagnosis without an extensive support group. I've gone from never checking my email and not needing a calendar these past four years, to having white boards, checklists, phone reminders, alarms, and on and on. It's been a steep learning curve but we're doing it, and things are finally falling into a nice rhythym for Ez, and moving in the right direction for Declan.

Wishing you all a lovely summer filled with just the right amounts of relaxation and adventure!