Friday, March 20, 2015

5 (More) Signs You're in Toddlerville


It's been awhile since my first Toddlerville post, and if there's one thing about Toddlerville, it's that the landscape is constantly changing. Toddlers like to keep you on your toes. One day they love something, the next day they hate it. So here are 5 new, updated ways to know when you're in Toddlerville.

1. If you've ever scooped up a Gumby-like, protesting child who has collapsed into a heap of Jello on the floor of a public place, then welcome to Toddlerville. This is pretty much a rite of passage. Bonus points if you successfully accomplished this while pregnant, because I can speak from experience that it's no easy feat.

2. If you're suddenly aware just how many things in the world are not lickable, and you find yourself saying things on the daily like, "Don't lick that basketball that 20 other toddlers just touched (and licked)" then you're definitely living with a toddler. Good luck, because the amount of unlickable things they still manage to lick is pretty disgusting if you stop to think about it too much. Somehow they survive though.

3. Getting dressed every morning has gone from a simple 2-minute affair to a rousing game of tag, where at least one person is thoroughly not enjoying the process (usually me). Once a certain toddler is caught, he reverts to the Gumby-like position I talked about in #1, which makes getting pants on super easy.

4. You put way more thought and practice into making animal and motorized vehicle sounds than you ever thought possible. If they gave out degrees on how to make elephant sounds, Joe and I would both have Masters by now. Well, Joe would probably have his Doctorate, because Ez has decided he's the top elephant trumpeter in the house. He's basically certified to give lessons now, if any of you are looking to improve your elephant sound game. He also does a good lion, goat, and airplane. If it puts a smile on a fussy toddler's face, there's no shame in pulling our your best choo choo train in public. #happytoddlerhappyparents

5. Despite the physical rigors and public embarrassment that happen daily in Toddlerville, you find yourself saying I love you at least a billion times a day. If a casual acquaintance or a co-worker put you through all of this, you'd most likely block their number or start looking for a new job, but somehow a toddler manages to pull this off and still comes out looking like the cutest, sweetest, cuddliest little person on the planet. It's a mystery of science how one person can be so simultaneously exasperating and completely lovable, but only a toddler can pull it off.

And, while we're on the topic, here are a few of the most recent #reasonsmysoniscrying:
- It's time to brush his teeth
- It's time to stop brushing his teeth (I think we can all agree toddlers are hypocrites)
- It's time to get dressed to go to the park/Gymboree/anywhere
- It's time to leave the park/Gymboree/anywhere
- It was actually not a good idea to leap face first into the hardwood floor


What about you - any crazy toddler moments to share this week? What's the most embarrassing public meltdown you've dealt with? It's nice to know we're all in this together!

13 comments:

  1. Aaahhh Toddlerville, I definitely Do Not miss being a resident of that every changing and tiring town :D

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    1. Toddlerville definitely has it's pros and cons. So much learning going on, but so many meltdowns too.

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  2. SO MUCH yes to all of this! HAHAHA. We're definitely in this stage. oof!

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  3. Ha great post! I do not have children however helping my sister with my two little nieces is CRAZY!!! Fortunately for me I can just pass them onto her when they are misbehaving! Toddlers really do try to eat and lick everything tho, for real!!!! Gotta love those adorable, annoying little tikes!

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    1. That's definitely the best part of being an auntie - lots of fun and games until they get cranky or messy and then it's back to the parents!

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  4. #1, totally. I have had to wrangle TWO children before while pregnant. I always feel like people are staring at me and thinking, "um, you DO know how you get pregnant right? Maybe you should slow it down." :)

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    1. Oh my goodness!! You deserve a spa getaway or something! I always feel like people are strain at me thinking that they never want kids, but oh well, with any luck I'll never see them again ;)

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  5. Lolol yup yup yup.
    Elliott was licking the floor the other day for fun. I allowed it (our home floor, had been steamed the day before). So yup allowed it.
    Pick your battles is my motto. Hahaha :)

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    1. Hahah, maybe freshly steamed floors are really yummy?? Picking your battles is the only way to get through this stage. Ez has eaten plenty of things off the floor (and our floors haven't been recently steam cleaned) and so far he's survived ;)

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  6. So very funny and sadly also so very true!!

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  7. Omg! This is so hilariously TRUE! But I do love life in Toddlerville!! :)

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  8. bahahaha these are always the best. zero to pissed in 1 second. toddlers, oy.

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