It's been awhile since my first Toddlerville post, and if there's one thing about Toddlerville, it's that the landscape is constantly changing. Toddlers like to keep you on your toes. One day they love something, the next day they hate it. So here are 5 new, updated ways to know when you're in Toddlerville.
1. If you've ever scooped up a Gumby-like, protesting child who has collapsed into a heap of Jello on the floor of a public place, then welcome to Toddlerville. This is pretty much a rite of passage. Bonus points if you successfully accomplished this while pregnant, because I can speak from experience that it's no easy feat.
2. If you're suddenly aware just how many things in the world are not lickable, and you find yourself saying things on the daily like, "Don't lick that basketball that 20 other toddlers just touched (and licked)" then you're definitely living with a toddler. Good luck, because the amount of unlickable things they still manage to lick is pretty disgusting if you stop to think about it too much. Somehow they survive though.
3. Getting dressed every morning has gone from a simple 2-minute affair to a rousing game of tag, where at least one person is thoroughly not enjoying the process (usually me). Once a certain toddler is caught, he reverts to the Gumby-like position I talked about in #1, which makes getting pants on super easy.
4. You put way more thought and practice into making animal and motorized vehicle sounds than you ever thought possible. If they gave out degrees on how to make elephant sounds, Joe and I would both have Masters by now. Well, Joe would probably have his Doctorate, because Ez has decided he's the top elephant trumpeter in the house. He's basically certified to give lessons now, if any of you are looking to improve your elephant sound game. He also does a good lion, goat, and airplane. If it puts a smile on a fussy toddler's face, there's no shame in pulling our your best choo choo train in public. #happytoddlerhappyparents
5. Despite the physical rigors and public embarrassment that happen daily in Toddlerville, you find yourself saying I love you at least a billion times a day. If a casual acquaintance or a co-worker put you through all of this, you'd most likely block their number or start looking for a new job, but somehow a toddler manages to pull this off and still comes out looking like the cutest, sweetest, cuddliest little person on the planet. It's a mystery of science how one person can be so simultaneously exasperating and completely lovable, but only a toddler can pull it off.
And, while we're on the topic, here are a few of the most recent #reasonsmysoniscrying:
- It's time to brush his teeth
- It's time to stop brushing his teeth (I think we can all agree toddlers are hypocrites)
- It's time to get dressed to go to the park/Gymboree/anywhere
- It's time to leave the park/Gymboree/anywhere
- It was actually not a good idea to leap face first into the hardwood floor
What about you - any crazy toddler moments to share this week? What's the most embarrassing public meltdown you've dealt with? It's nice to know we're all in this together!