A Moment in Time

Every now and then Joe gives me a list of things I should record in this little ol' blog here so we don't forget it, which is usually my not so subtle reminder that it's been a while since I've done a life lately post. Like the way Ez is obsessed with reciting both Little Blue Truck books by heart or how Declan has to get down and dance anytime there is a snippet of music playing. They both seem like completely different people compared to even just a few months ago and I want to remember every crazy little thing they do. Declan is developing into a little jokester goofball who will do pretty much anything for a laugh. Ez is getting to that (mostly) fun age where he says crazy things out of nowhere and cracks Joe and me up. They're each at the perfect age to interact and play with each other and they're really starting to get the hang of this whole "having a brother" thing.

Family Life Lately

We are so, so, so blessed that Joe gets to work from home now. It's been the best thing for our family and Ez and Declan are on cloud 9 having Daddy time all throughout the day. Ez has switched over to becoming a total daddy's boy in the last few weeks and I'm basically chopped liver now. He just shadows Joe all day saying, "look at this Daddy," and when I try to chime in he'll repeat again, "look at this, Daddy." Ok, point taken kid. That being said, Joe working from home goes a little something like this:

Sitting on toys with a basketball bouncing off his head while on his laptop pretty much sums it up. Not sure how he pulls it off, but somehow he does.

In the evening we're all about family walks, or just running laps through the house over and over and over till everyone passes out from exhaustion. Well, when we don't all have a nasty flu, anyway. It's becoming very apparent that I live in a house full of boys because roughhousing is pretty much everyone's favorite pastime. Except mine. Apparently I don't have that gene that likes wrestling. Thankfully that's where daddy comes in.

Ez Lately

Moving to a house with a backyard is basically like Christmas and birthdays all rolled into one. Ez wakes up and the first thing he says is, "Wanna play in the backyard?" Clearly we've been depriving him and he's making up for lost time. Laying face down, elbow deep in the dirt is his happy place. He's my little earth worm. And after a nice long digging and rock collecting session he'll come in with his mud-streaked face and say "that was so much fun!" which makes all the extra laundry so worth it.

When he's not outside he's either asking if he can use "his" ipad, or eating. Seriously, that kid wants to eat every 30 minutes like clockwork. Apples are still the snack of choice and I have to cut him off or he'd eat a tree's worth every day. Also, it's a pretty good sign that my kid has seen one too many Youtube videos when he starts telling us, "Thanks for watching! Please subscribe." We've pretty much got a locked in subscription for the next 15 years or so... ;) Also thanks to Youtube Ez is basically a nonstop jukebox of nursery rhymes and songs. "Brother finger brother finger where are you? Here I am, here I am, how do you do?" is the current soundtrack of my life.

Despite the great upsides of our new place, there was definitely a turbulent little period when all the recent change caught up with Ez and he was basically a storm of emotions all throughout the day. When he's happy and excited he's the most bouncy exuberant little being you've ever met, but when he's pissed he's PISSED. Not sure if it's the move, a growth spurt, his age, or what...but it's a little hard to keep up with. I could do a whole post on "reasons my son is crying" and it would go something along the lines of: he asked to watch monster trucks so I turned on monster trucks; he asked for pink yogurt but all we had was blue yogurt; he wanted the yellow (box) mac & cheese not the blue one I gave him; he wants to play with the one missing toy instead of the 3,574 toys already strewn across the floor; the apple I gave him was "too big".... I think you get the idea.

Declan Lately

Declan is in that adorable gibberish stage and I really really wish I knew what he was trying to say. His made up language sounds like a cross between Arabic and Russian and there are certain sounds he'll repeat daily but I have no idea what they could possible mean. If anyone can translate Ah Shaka Doh for me, that'd be great, thanks. He likes to yell that at me periodically and for now I can only assume it means something along the lines of "bring me food, woman!" His English vocabulary has also grown a lot lately. "Doh!" (go or no), "Ca-kwa" (crackers), "wawawa" (water), "ba" (milk/bottle), "Ga doh?" (get down), Toooo!!! (Tootles - usually followed by a piercing scream) "dadada" (Dada). No mama yet though :(

He's forever my rambunctious troublemaker and whenever he gets caught redhanded doing something he shouldn't be he tilts his head to one side and sidles away without making eye contact, like if he can't see you, you can't see him. Some of his trouble making specialties include: dumping any glass of water he can find all over the floor. Splashing in the toilet. Typing on Joe's laptop the second it's unattended. Turning off the wifi. Storing bits of food in his toy garbage truck and then pulling them out for a snack later.

He does this wonky back and forth run like a little drunken sailor when he's trying to be silly and get a laugh out of us. His favorite perch is on the stairs landing where he can look down on the family room and watch whatever's on TV from his own private viewing box. Joe and I will be sitting at the table and all of a sudden this little blur of a boy goes running past full speed on his way to the stairs like he's on a mission. And speaking of running, running off and leaving us in the dust is becoming a pattern with him. Like that time he ran behind the bar at Outback and scared the crap out of me. He has the opposite of survival skills. If there's danger within a four mile radius he's automatically drawn to it. He just can't help himself. Gives whole new meaning to this meme:

Except there's a good chance I haven't showered...

Brothers

Ez and Declan are at the stage where they actually share a few common interests and watching them interact is my favorite parenting experience. Declan is loving monster trucks and motorcycles and all things with wheels and he'll roll them all over the house (like literally, up the walls and everything) and then when he's done he'll walk over and hand them to his brother and stand there gesturing and talking his rapid jibberish. Ez has no idea how to react and usually stares at me baffled until I cue him to say "thank you Declan" which he repeats in his little voice and Declan seems satisfies and wanders off to find another toy to share with his brother. Cutest thing ever. Bath time is another bonding experience for them. Splashing water within a 12 foot radius never fails to get laughs out of both of them. Chasing each other in circles around the house. Building, and more importantly, destroying block towers. Ransacking and hiding in mommy's closet. I was shocked that they were able to sit quietly side by side in my closet trying not to get caught. Who knew they could be silent for minutes at a time?? Stealing each other's toys and then tattling on each other... All the normal brotherly stuff ;)

And in case you're not convinced, here are several more glimpses into the crazy I deal with on a daily basis. (Thank you YouTube for turning one of my clips upside down...):

 

Brothers

A few months ago when I wrote about Ez and Declan's relationship, Declan was just on the verge of walking but not quite there yet. He was still mobile enough to cause Ez quite a bit of grief, but walking opened up lots more doors. Toy borrowing (or stealing, depending on who you ask), following Ez's every move, fighting back, and sometimes even instigating a shoving match or two. As you can probably imagine, our roles as parents closely resemble refereeing. "Don't push your brother" "let him play with a toy too" and "Declan don't, just don't!" Make up about 80% of my vocabulary these days, with a few "which one of you smells?" sprinkled in for good measure. There is absolutely no such thing as peace and quiet at this stage of our lives. There's either loud destruction going on, or even scarier: quiet mass destruction. Oh, and there's naptime. Sweet, sweet naptime.

Obviously there are daily moments when each and every one of us are ready to pull our hair out. But then there are the other moments, the ones that make my heart so full and make me think that maybe, just maybe, we'll all survive this crazy toddler phase after all. Like when they're standing side by side in front of the window, each of them with a monster truck in hand, rolling them back and forth while making "vroom vroom" sounds. Or during rousing games of tag as they make lap after lap around the couch, laughing and screaming and tripping over the mine field of toys that is our living room. When we go to the playground or Ez's soccer practice and Declan spends a few moments staring open mouthed and adoringly at his big bro before jumping right in to do exactly what Ez is doing. The times when Declan wanders around the house lost and forlorn because his big brother isn't there, and then as soon as Ez reappears his face lights up and he gives a delighted little giggle like his world is complete again. And I especially love the times that Ez's innate big brother protectiveness comes into play and he tries to cheer up or help his crying baby brother, saying "don't cry Dec Dec." And Declan is just as protective of his big brother. There have been times when Ez is getting in trouble, usually for something he's done to Declan, and Declan will walk up to whichever one of us is disciplining Ez, stare us down, and hit us. Apparently he's got his brother's back, even if his brother did just steal his toys and push him down. I hope it continues like that forever, and that they are each other's biggest supporters when it most counts.

Even though their communication is lacking, they already have inside jokes and walk around the house making weird noises and faces at each other then cracking up. They both drop everything to do the hotdog dance when it comes on. They walk around the playground like they own the place. It makes me so happy to know that they have built in partners in crime for life.

They've each learned so much from the other. Declan has learned all about cars and vehicle sounds, plus soccer and playground antics from Ez. Ez has learned to be more assertive and a little more compassionate in his role as big brother. And they've taught us quite a bit too, like to embrace life's never ending messiness, and to get over grievances quickly and go right back to being bffs. Every day with them is an adventure and we feel so blessed to have these loud, rambunctious, loving, and snuggly little explorers in our lives.

Spring Photos

I had this crazy idea that I would try and get some photos of Ez and Declan together. Maybe even both of them smiling at the camera at the same time. But between Declan's need to chew on everything he can get his hands on, Ez's bipolar threenager antics, and my lack of the five sets of hands I actually need, no amount of bribery was going to make that happen. 

Even though I didn't get that magical perfect shot I think these photos do a good job of showing Ez's new emerging personality, which changes on the daily. While we were taking these photos he switched back and forth between total ham and flat out rebellion. I'm constantly surprised by how little boy he seems lately. Like when he says long complete sentences and even uses a little bit of slang. Hearing "hey mommy, want to play monster trucks with me?" in his sweet little voice never fails to melt my heart. 

Also, on the topic of monster trucks, I'm constantly surprised by how much I currently know about every type of vehicle ever made. This is crazy to say but I actually watched the Daytona 500 and found out that I liked it just a teensy tiny bit. Mainly just the crashes and the last four laps, but that's a huge step for me as a boy mom. Clearly these kids are molding me as much as I'm molding them. Probably more.

Not to be outdone, Declan is just as much a force to be reckoned with. He loves a raucous good time and he thinks all of Ez's tantrums are actually just a great big celebration that he immediately wants to join, happily screaming his head off with the best of em. Having a three year old for a brother, you can't really blame him for thinking yelling and screaming is just the normal way to communicate.

Joe asked the other day if I still feel like one of them is constantly getting jipped, something I struggled with right after Declan was born, and while it's true that they each get less of my attention than they would as an only child I honestly think they're both so lucky to have each other. Now that I see them wrestling and chasing each other and playing side by side while having little jibberish conversations I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Ez has definitely become more assertive than he was pre-Declan. You're probably thinking that's just a nice way of saying he bullies his little brother, and it is, but I notice it in other areas of his life too and it's nice to see him come out of shell. 

And I doubt Declan will ever take any crap from anyone because he can already hold his own against Ez. He knows if Ez is hogging all the good toys and he's not scared to give Ez's curls a little yank to let him know what's up.  

Just like all our other "failed" photo shoots, I think these pictures pretty much sum up our current season of life refereeing two curious, strong-willed, goofy little boys. At the end of the day we're just happy if nobody broke any bones or major household appliances. To say they keep us on our toes is an understatement, but then they go to sleep and here I am staring at their sweet little smiles and thinking back on all the funny things Ez said and the cute things Declan did and thinking how I kinda want to snuggle my little bunnies one more time. Ha! Fooled ya. I actually just want sleep ;)

Brothers

The last time I did a brotherly update, Declan was only two months old. Obviously a lot has changed in the past half year (??!) so we're overdue for a little update on their relationship. As I type this, Ez is screaming NOOO! at Declan, trying to protect his monster trucks, while Declan is attempting to climb over Ez, feet in the air, determined little bulldog look on his face. Something tells me this will be our lives for the next sixteen years or so ;)

The evolution of their relationship to this point has been so much fun to watch. The first few weeks after we brought Declan home, Ez was pretty petrified of his loud, attention-grabbing baby brother. Eventually Ez stopped crying whenever Declan cried, and started trying to console him, which was the sweetest thing ever. He'd get right in Declan's face and give him a big smile and a few pats on the back. This almost never stopped Declan from crying, but Ez's protective big brother instincts had fully kicked in, and he became fascinated with his baby brother.

Eventually Declan grew aware enough of his surroundings to realize there was a tiny little person running around screaming like a madman most of the day, and he decided this was his most favorite person in the world. Before he was mobile he loved watching Ez's every move. If I happened to be holding him he'd strain his head around me so he could keep big bro within view. You could tell just by looking at him that he was recording and memorizing every little thing Ez did, so that one day he could do it too. I'm convinced this is the reason why Declan was such a loud baby, always yelling to let us know whether he was happy or upset. 

Fast forward to now, with Declan crawling and standing up, and their relationship has reached full on love-hate status. Ez loves goofing off for his brother, he loves the blatant adoration Declan has for him, but sharing his toys? Not his favorite thing. Many a fight has already been broken up over this matter. Before you go feeling too sorry for poor little helpless Declan, let me tell you, that kid already knows how to fight back. Since he's a baby, we'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he's not consciously stirring up trouble, but I think he probably is. If Ez tries to swat him away, Declan will grab Ez by the hair with his little iron grip and stare at me with the biggest smile on his face while Ez screams in pain. If Ez pushes him down, away from his toys, Declan stands right back up and grabs two toys while staring him down. And I'm fairly sure that when Declan sounds the alarm to let us know that Ez is assaulting him, he does it a little too loudly and too quickly, because he's already figured out how to manipulate his baby status to get his way. 

I can only imagine what these two are going to get into, and the heart attacks they'll give me over the next few years, but I love that they have each other. I can already tell a difference in Ez being a little less shy and a little more assertive toward other kids. And something tells me Declan wouldn't be nearly this mobile at this age if he didn't have his big brother to keep up with. I love these two so much, and while I know they'll have plenty of sibling squabbles I hope that they'll always have each other's back and be each other's biggest supporters when it really matters. 

Here's a little look back at the first 8 months of their relationship, as well as a short video. My favorite is around 2:45 when Joe is helping Declan walk, and then Ez insists he needs help walking too. Whatever one of them has, the other one wants. Always.

Brothers

We've come a long way from this:

To this:

Sure, Declan still doesn't look all that impressed, but at least one of them is smiling ;)

The first week after we first brought Declan home from the hospital there were a lot of domino effect meltdowns going on over here. Ez would burst into tears whenever Declan cried, which was obviously a lot. Then Ez got used to the noise and would just continue on with his life and ignore Declan's cries, which was a huge improvement. But now Ez actually gets concerned whenever Declan's upset and he'll get right in Declan's face to smile and pat him on the back (something he's seen me do a million times) and give him kisses. This usually makes Declan cry harder, but the intention to cheer him up always makes me smile. 

In the beginning there was a lot of questioning on my part. I wondered how I'd be able to give Ez the attention he was used to without shortchanging Declan from getting the same amount of attention Ez got when he was a baby. I was setting myself up for failure because it's impossible to give them each 100% of my attention all of the time. The only way to save my sanity was to adjust my thinking. Ez is lucky to have gotten all that attention early on and Declan is lucky because he has such an amazing big bro looking out for him. So it may not all be equal but I think the family dynamics are balancing out and we're all settling into our new groove as a family of four. 

Ez shows so much compassion and sensitivity for a two year old. He's the best big brother and I know his love for Declan will continue to grow and grow. And eventually Declan will come around and reciprocate that love. I've already caught him throwing a few smiles his brother's way. Their budding brotherly bond makes my heart so full. And the best part about going from one to two? Twice the cuddes! These two are both major snugglers and I love it so much. Sitting on the couch with both my boys piled on my lap is the absolute best part of this season of our lives. 

I am so excited to continue to watch their friendship grow. I know I can count on Ez to look out for his brother out and one day Declan will have Ez's back too. And I hope they keep these snuggles up well after they both outweigh me.

Ez's Week With the Grandparents

Going from only child to big sibling can be rough. Ez was used to 100% attention, all eyes on him, and getting exactly what he wanted when he wanted it (within reason). Now he's had to grow up a little, learn to be more patient, and share mommy's time and lap with a strange, loud little baby. It's a lot for a two year old to comprehend. One thing that made the transition much easier (or at least prolonged it for a bit) was having the grandparents distract Ez with fun activities in the first days after Declan arrived. I already mentioned in my last post what a huge help they were, but I thought I'd share a little more of Ez's fun week with the grandparents, since they sent so many cute photo updates.

First of all, my parents were already planning on coming down to visit on the 25th, so the fact that Declan decided to make his entrance that day worked out well. They just left a few hours earlier than they originally planned, and got there right before Ez woke up from his nap. When Ez walked back into the hospital room (he'd already been there once that morning, pre-nap), his eyes lit up and he bee-lined for Grampa (aka - Papa). He seriously didn't even look at me (although I think he was still a little scared of me at that point). It definitely eased my mind knowing that Ez was in good hands and having a good time while I was in the hospital and on 24/7 feeding duties. 

Here's a little recap of their adventures:

Ez got to tour a fire station and climb in all the fire trucks, which is basically his fantasy come to life. I'm told he made lots of siren sounds throughout the tour and he also got a badge sticker, which he proudly wore all day long.

Grampa took Ez swimming every day they were here. Ez is a little fish, and from what I hear was completely fearless in the water - jumping in over and over again, dunking his face underwater, and demanding to swim all on his own. Each day they had to lure him out of the water with the promise of food, otherwise I'm sure he'd still be in there.

I requested they take him to get his haircut. I figured maybe he'd be more civil in front of them than he was the first (and last) time he got his haircut. I was wrong:

Thankfully ice cream makes everything better:

And they even braved the heat for a morning trip to Disneyland, and a special evening trip just to watch the fireworks. If you knew how anti-sun, anti-summer, anti-heat my mom is, you'd understand that's a HUGE deal.

Is that one spoiled, super-loved boy, or what?

Big Brother Gift

When I saw this adorable Big Brother Kit that Lisa, over at From the North to the South put together, I knew I wanted to do something similar for Ez. So for the past few weeks I've been collecting little gifts here and there for his baby bro to give him when they meet for the first time. Here's a little peek at what he's getting:

1. Busy Trucks on the Go - yet another book about trucks to add to the rotation.

2. Since Ez's favorite animal is an elephant ("elba") I got them each a mini stuffed elephant.

3. Somehow Ez is still missing a Lightning McQueen diecast from his ever-growing collection, so baby bro took care of that.

4. We are huge fans of My Busy Books (even though the little toys wind up everywhere) so Ez is getting the Tonka Road Rally one which is full of construction and emergency vehicles, some of his current faves. If you're not familiar with My Busy Books, they are board books that come with a dozen small toys and a playmat. Ez already has the Cars 1 & 2 + Airplanes versions, and they have been consistent favorites for the past six months or so.

5. I picked up this sculpty sand in the dollar section at Target. We haven't ever used it before, but Ez likes playdough so I figure this will be a hit as well.

Some might call this good old fashioned bribery to get Ez to like his baby bro right off the bat, but as a parent I'm not opposed to a little bribery every now and then ;) I feel like seeing Mommy in a hospital plus meeting a new family member can be overwhelming, so I want to do everything possible to make it a celebratory experience for Ez. I'm hoping there's a good balance of quiet activities he can do at the hospital while not making the gifts the main focus of the visit, if that makes sense. I don't want him to overlook the fact that he has a new bro. Also, I tried to stay away from anything too messy or anything too hard or heavy that could be thrown (because I know my kid). 

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Our 5 Favorite Big Brother Books for Toddlers

With less than two months to go, I thought it was time to get serious about prepping for baby #2, and part of that prep includes making Ez understand as much as he possibly can before we shock his little world with a new brother. To be honest, I don't think anything besides experience can really prep him for what's it's like to live with a baby, day in and day out. I know reading about newborns didn't fully prepare me for the reality of having one. But I still want him to have as much understanding as possible, so off to the library and Barnes & Noble we went. While all of these are specifically geared toward big brothers, they each have a big sister counterpart by the same author.

1. I Have a Brother

This is a super simple to understand book that compares what it's like to be little with what big brothers can do (ie - "My brother wears diapers. When I was little I wore diapers too.") Technically Ez will still be in diapers when the new baby gets here, but it does make the big bro feel special because he's able to do so much more than baby. There's only one sentence per page with very simple illustrations, which makes it perfect for short attention spans.

2. I Am a Big Brother

This is one of my favorites for young kids for a few reasons. For one, it's a board book, which is great for Ez's destructive little hands. It keeps things simple with only 1-2 sentences per page. It rhymes. It talks a lot about the big brother's role (ie - "If baby wakes with cranky cries, I softly sing sweet lullabies") and I'm a fan of playing up the sibling relationship and their interaction, even while baby is still too young to actually play. 

3. I'm a Big Brother

This book is slightly more advanced than the other two, and talks a little more about the practicalities of having a new baby in the house, but at the same time it's not too complicated or wordy. It talks about how babies cry to tell us something, or how you have to ask mommy before holding or touching the baby. Like the others, there's also an emphasis on all the things big bro can do that baby can't, like walking, talking, and eating pizza. I also like that it emphasizes that big bro is always going to be special because "I'm the only me in the whole wide world."

4. Big Brothers Are the Best

While the wording and structure are very simple in this book, I think it would work best for kids a little older than Ez's age, maybe 3 and up, because it talks about helping by putting on the baby's socks or burping the baby. Unfortunately Ez doesn't even put his own socks yet, so I don't see that happening, but if he were at that age this would be a great book for him. I also like that while it has the "I'm a big bro so I can do all kinds of cool stuff" theme, it also points out that big bros aren't too big to snuggle with mommy or ride on daddy's back. So true! I definitely don't want the snuggles to stop anytime soon.

5. I'm a New Big Brother

Like all of these books, the real emphasis is on how big brother can help once baby arrives. "I hold you gently. I push you in the stroller. I read to you." etc. It really plays up the sibling relationship, and all the ways baby will depend on big bro once he/she gets here. Since Ez is really at a "helpful" stage, where he wants to copy whatever we're doing and help out with chores, this is a great angle to play up with him.

The reason I like these 5 books in particular for kids in the 2-4 range is that they are simple to understand, and mainly focus on including big brother and helping him take on this new role, instead of focusing on all the negative aspects that having a newborn around might entail. While there is some mention of baby crying, or needing to be quiet when baby is sleeping, there's also emphasis on still being loved and special, and that now there's a new person in the family who will love big brother too. 

Other books I looked at, including Baby on the Way by Martha and William Sears, deal a little more with the pregnancy aspect of bring home a new baby, such as talking about how mommy will need to rest more, or her tummy might hurt as if she'd "eaten too much soda and cake" (which she may have!), and I really wish I could make Ez understand all that. Unfortunately I think the comprehension level is a little higher than 2 years. According to Amazon, the age range for the Sears book is 3-6 years.

Did you introduce the idea of a new baby through books with your first child? Do you think it had any impact? And which books were their favorites? Always looking for tips and recommendations on how to make the new sibling transition easier on a two year old!

Happy almost Mother's Day to all the moms! Hope you get lots of extra love, snuggles, and treats this weekend :)