I can officially say baby #2 is due next month! Yay and yikes! I'm ready to meet and hold this guy, but still not completely sure how ready I am to be a mom of a toddler and a newborn.
A lot of people have asked me how this pregnancy compares to my last one, and symptom for symptom they've been nearly identical. Very short-lived nausea, mild and sporadic heartburn, and both my little guys made sure to reorganize my insides by kicking a rib out of place. Pregnancy isn't a very romantic or idealized time for me. I know some people love it, but I'll admit I like having my internal organs all to myself. It's not dramatic or awful either. For me pregnancy is a means to an end, and through all the endless bathroom trips, the huffing and puffing just to get off the couch, and the back pain, I feel incredibly blessed to be able to make healthy babies.
The one big difference this time around is that I'm already a mom. So now, while I'm in my third trimester and just want to lay around eating cereal and vegging out, I have to put down the spoon and get on the hardwood floor to play trains, or actually venture out of the house to Gymboree class or the park before the toddler monster rears it's ugly head.
During my first pregnancy I had an idea that my life would change forever, but it was more of a far away notion that I didn't fully comprehend. I still got to do pretty much exactly what I wanted when I wanted. I went to the gym regularly, I slept all the time, we watched shows besides Doc McStuffins and went on plenty of dates. Now there is no such thing as planning. "I'll wake up early and do a few miles on the treadmill before Joe goes to work," I'll think. Ha! A certain toddler will get up even earlier (like 5 am) so I can kiss those plans goodbye. Then I may think, well, he's definitely gotta nap since he was up at 5, so I can get some stuff done at naptime. Joke's on me! He will nap, but only in my arms, or in 20 minute increments. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that once you're in Toddlerville it's best to just give up any notions of planning and go with the flow. Plans are like a direct challenge to the Toddler Gods, and they always get the last laugh.
My view as I write this:
A nice thing about pregnancy #2 is that I'm much more relaxed about the actual pregnancy. Google and I were bffs during my first pregnancy. I'd look up every symptom and bit of advice I could find, which in hindsight was probably a little obsessive and stressful. This time around I've been there before and I know what to expect. But that's also the scariest part about pregnancy #2. I've actually felt contractions and had an epidural and an episiotomy. And I know that breast feeding is time consuming and painful. Ignorance is bliss.
One aspect where I have no idea what's in store for us is how parenting a newborn and a toddler simultaneously works. One wants to sleep and eat all day, the other has energy to burn. With Ez we pretty much just stayed home and hibernated the first few months. Unfortunately I don't think that will cut it this time around. I have faith that we'll adapt, but I figure that much like labor and delivery it's best not to think about it too much and just dive in when the time comes.
We are currently in the middle of the dreaded sick + teething + no sleeping trifecta (aka a shitstorm). I know all you parents can relate. This is probably not the time to contemplate my ability to parent two little ones when just handling one is using up my energy and patience faster than I can replenish it. A sick toddler is pretty much a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation. On the one hand, I've never had better snuggles than this week. On the other, we've never had so many timeouts for hitting and throwing. There have been plenty of nights this week where I escape to the treadmill just to have some alone time once Joe gets home. (Which honestly isn't the worst thing in the world.)
Any other 2nd time mamas feel similar anxiety about parenting two vs. one?