Wednesday, December 14, 2016

12 Days of Toddler Christmas


Joe and I are loving this Christmas with one full-on toddler and one not-so-toddler little boy. The days are limited when they'll jump up and down with excitement at the sight of the Christmas tree lighting up. I'm possibly more giddy than they are at the idea of them opening up their presents on Christmas morning. Declan rocking out to Christmas music is the cutest thing ever. BUT a toddler Christmas is its own special kind of Christmas. It's a messy, very un-Pinteresty kind of holiday. I've lost count of the ornament and decoration casualties. I'll probably never forget having to search Declan's mouth for bits of glass ornament fragments. The trauma of visiting Santa. The lack of any concept of time which makes explaining how an advent calendar works or that Christmas is still two weeks away the most useless and frustrating task I've ever undertaken. The never ending threats that Santa only visits GOOD little boys and girls. So, taking it all in, the good, the messy, and the meltdowns, Joe and I came up with our own version of the classic 12 Days of Christmas song to sum up our toddler version of Christmas.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
12 Mickeys Dancing
Which is code for we watch Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas, Twice Upon a Christmas, and every other kind of Mickey Christmas show ever made on repeat a bajillion times. And counting. Joe and I actually tried to tally up how many times we've heard the hotdog song and the number is depressing. I'll leave it at that.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
11 Ornaments Breaking
Declan will probably never live down the infamy of eating an ornament. Ever. I've already written it into his wedding speech. There are also several other ornaments that met their end the old fashioned way, by being smashed to bits. And remember all those foam ornaments Ez and I made? At least half of them have been torn to shreds by Ez himself. Turns out breaking them is just as fun as making them.

On the tenth day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
10 Cookies Stolen
We haven't actually made any cookies yet, what I really wanted to write was advent chocolates stolen, but that just didn't fit as well. It's been a nonstop sugar rush since Halloween, so you can really sub any kind of sweet treat here and I'm sure you get the point.

On the ninth day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
9 Crumbs a Dropping
Unfortunately this one isn't limited to the holiday season. And the count is way past 9 before breakfast is even halfway finished, but this isn't the 4,945,384 days of Christmas, so 9 crumbs it is.

On the eighth day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
8 Bottles Spilling
Bottles aren't really that spillable, though Declan manages to find a way. Currently his real specialty is removing the straws from their cups and then pouring all the contents out through the straw hole. Carpets and toddlers are a bad idea.

On the seventh day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
7 Presents Discovered
Santa really needs to step up his present hiding game because the littlest one is quite the sleuth. I figured I could just set a bag on the counter and hide it later. Nope. Declan can reach the counters now. Which means nothing will ever be safe again. He pulled a bag down, Ez found toys in the bag, and that leads us to...

On the sixth day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
6 Resulting Meltdowns
The whole toy discovery (and toy taking away) was actually just one of many Christmasy meltdowns. Is anyone else noticing an increase in tears lately? There's also the fact that mommy wants to take extra pictures this month. Nothing causes tears like the sight of the camera. Visits to Santa. Waiting in long lines. All the extra sugar (see day 10). Many more that came completely from left field and I'm still feeling dazed and confused at exactly how they originated. To be fair the long lines have nearly gotten to me a few times too.

On the fifth day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
5 Lumps of Coal
So far there are have been no actual lumps of coal. What Joe and I are really getting at is the number of times we have threatened lumps of coal when two certain kids are having one of their epic meltdowns mentioned above. This form of blackmail/bribery/incentive/whatever you want to call it is slowly starting to work on Ez. Sadly Declan doesn't give an ef.

On the fourth day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
4 Missing Shoes
Again, this goes way beyond just Christmas time, but it's just not a legitimate toddler countdown if we don't mention the mysterious disappearance of shoes. Or the mysterious repulsion at putting on said shoes.

On the third through first day of Christmas my toddler gave to me...
3 Children Crying waiting...
2 Freaking Hours to see...
1 Santa at the Crowded Mall
I think this is pretty self explanatory. It's just not a Santa visit without crying children. To be honest, the crying kid on Santa's lap pictures are kinda my favorite. But if you got lucky and it's not your kid crying this year then there's a good chance you're still surrounded by three (or thirty) other crying kids. No wonder Santa looks so traumatized in half the Santa photos we've acquired the past four years...

And there you have it! We love this season of the year and this season of our lives, but it's just not an accurate representation if we don't mention the dozens of times a day Joe and I roll our eyes at each other above the kids' heads and pray that naptime or bedtime lasts just a little bit longer. And then spend that naptime coming up with songs about those very same crazy little kids... ;)

2 comments:

  1. Lol! Genius! Well done. And I can't believe he ATE an ornament. And crying baby with Santa pictures are my absolute favorite!

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